你要我讲多少次？

Jordan每天都在学习新事物，每天都有笑话听。。
那天带他去看医生，生病咯。然后走之前叫他上厕所先。
Jordan：我刚才去了嘛。现在不要去了。
我：再去啦，等下你又说要去厕所。
Jordan：我不要去，我说我刚才去了嘛，你有听到吗？你要我讲多少次？har？你要我讲多少次？
wah lau！

********

Jordan is growing now and learning many new thing everyday, many jokes to hear...
I brought him to doctor the other day, fall sick loh. Before we left, I asked him to go toilet.
Jordan: I dont want to go, I went just now already mah.
Me: You go again la, later u say u want to go toilet.
Jordan: I dont want to go, I said I went just now already mah, you hear me or now? How many times you want me to repeat? Har? How many times you want me to repeat?
Hahaha....

LV

看来我要把Jordan的笑话放去Jordan的专栏才最贴切。
Jordan喜欢跟我们说：我今天good boy了，你买sticker给我要不要？
故事又来了。。。
Jordan：妈咪，你买Ben 10 Bag 给我要不要？
我：不要啦，你有bag了嘛，要这么多bag干嘛？
Jordan：我要嘛，公公有，婆婆有，妈咪有，我要嘛。。
我：不要，你买LV Bag给妈咪先啦！
Jordan： LV Bag？？。。。 我买LV Sticker 给你要不要？
wahahahaha.... so cute!
我：不要啦，我要LV Bag，3千塊那个。
Jordan：3千塊？好啦。。。我买给你啦！
wah lau... 我的儿子好“豪”喔.. haha...还很会讨人开心哩！

**********

My fren ask me to translate Jordan's joke to English.. I told her it may not be joke anymore after make it to English, as he speak in Mandarin mah... ok ok, i try this, and hope it still sound funny :)

Jordan like to say: I am good boy today, you buy me Sticker la!
Here's come the story...
Jordan: Mommy, can u buy me Ben 10 Bag?
Me: no la, u have Bag already mah, why still want to buy Bag?
Jordan: gong-gong has, poh-poh has, mommy has, I also want mah...
Me: no la, unless you buy LV Bag for mommy la.
Jordan: LV Bag?.... I buy you LV Sticker want or not??
wahahaha... so cute!
Me: Dont want, I want LV Bag, worth 3k..
Jordan: 3K ah,... ok la, I buy for u la!
wah lau... Jordan so generous wor... make me so sweet and happy :)

Simple Dish

yk follow-up with me so constantly on my cooking skill, haha... she wants to know whether I do practise on and off.. But recently I have some personal thing to handle, so have not been cooking for quite a while. oh gosh... hope I still can remember how to use the wok and stuff, haha...
simple dinner for my family again with,
1) steam pork with egg 猪肉蒸蛋
2) stir fry gai-lan 炒介兰
3) sweet and sour fish 酸甜昌鱼
Luckily my marks from my family are still the same, not deteriorating... kekeke..

公公

Jordan坏蛋的时候，我们会讲要赶他出去，让他停一下不要继续顽皮。
那天他跟他的公公玩，他公公弄到他的手黑青了。他叫他的公公看。。
公公：你啦，要我和你玩，一点点不用紧啦。。
Jordan跑过来跟我投诉。
Jordan：妈咪，你看，公公弄到我的手了，你赶他出去啦！
wah lau。。。

衰仔

那天带Jordan去买吃的，等老板娘找钱等了很久。
Jordan：妈咪，我们等什么？
我：等那个auntie找钱咯，那个auntie很坏蛋咯，要我们等那么久。
Jordan：是啊？那个auntie很衰仔！
我听不清楚。。
我：什么？你说什么？
Jordan：那个auntie很衰仔啊！！

哈哈。。。

**************

I brought Jordan to pack some food the other day, and wait so long for the change back from the si-tao-poh.
Jordan: Mommy, what are we waiting for?
Me: wait for the auntie to give us back the change loh.. Auntie very noti, keep us waiting for so long..
Jordan: yes ah?! ... The Auntie very sui-zai!!
I didnt get him...
Me: What? What did u say?
Jordan: The Auntie very Sui-Zai ah!!!!

wahahaha.....

测验

Tracy问我，为什么我的瑜伽老师喜欢和我们讲故事，哈哈。。。 我也不会回答她，但是如果不是她那么热忱得和我们分享她的心灵学，我可不会受益呢。。
那天的瑜伽课她问了我们一个心里测验。有一天晚上，你驾车经过一个车站，看见3个人在等车。1个是病危的老太婆，1个是医生，另一个是你的梦中情人，你会载哪一个呢？
我想也不用想，当然是载老太婆啦。我在想，如果我还没结婚，我也是会载老太婆，因为生命诚可贵嘛。瑜伽老师然后给我们这心理测验的答案。最两全齐美的方法是，把车借给医生，让他载老太婆去医院，然后自己就留下来和梦中情人相聚。。
我们的一生做许多事，甚至99%的事都是为了别人，为家人，为朋友，为亲人。。。努力赚钱为了家人的将来，煮顿美味的佳肴为了家人，赴汤蹈火为了兄弟。。。但为了自己呢，又做了什么？人要懂得爱自己才更会爱别人。为自己做些事吧。

**********

My yoga teacher gave us a test. One day you pass by a bus stand, and there are 3 people waiting for bus, and you could take one, who would you send? A Doctor, a very sick old lady, and your dream lover.

Immediately I choose to send the sick lady. If I m not married, I will still have the same answer. Teacher gives us the answer. The right answer should be: Borrow your car to the Doctor, so that he could send the sick old lady to hospital, and you stay behind with the dream lover.

Many things we do are for somebody. Cook a delicious meal for our family, save up what we earn for our kids, extra money put aside for parents or siblings.. Have we ever thought of ourselves? What did we do for ourselves? Love yourself so that you can love others. Love yourself more from today!

坏蛋的Jordan

Jordan放学回家跟我们讲他的Teacher打他。
我：Teacher打你那里，一定是你很坏蛋啦，所以Teacher才打你嘛。
我：你不要那么坏蛋啊，等下Teacher不要你了。
Jordan：不是Teacher不要我，是我不要她！

wah lah。。。

************

Jordan came back from school and told me his Teacher beat him.
Me: Where did Teacher beat u? U must be very noti la, that's y Teacher beat u.
Me: You dont be so noti ah, later Teacher dont want u!
Jordan: NOT Teacher dont want me, I dont want Teacher ah!

孔子

战国时代，兵荒马乱，孔子带了几个他的学徒四处逃跑。他们已缺乏食物，他的学生便外出寻找食物给他吃。找了很久，只找到一小碗的米，于是这位学生便煮给孔子吃。
孔子无意中看见这位学生打开锅子吃了一口饭，他不开心这位学徒那么不诚实，于是想了个办法来试他。当这学生把饭给他时，孔子说现在我要拿这碗饭去拜祖仙，那位学生赶快说不能，因为他吃了一口。孔子认为这学生还有药可救。学生继续说：刚才我打开锅子时，不小心把饭弄脏了，我不舍得丢掉，于是把那口肮脏的饭吃了。。
所以说，有时亲眼看到的也未必是真的，一定要问清楚，别害了人也害了自己。

P for Parrot

我为了要Jordan更容易记得alphabet，我用图片的方式，他会更容易进脑，例如 A for Apple。。
那天我切橙给他吃，他吃到皮，然后他说：mommy，我吃到皮，P for Parrot 那个皮。
哈哈。。。

Finish

Jordan放学回家还剩很多食物，我叫他吃完它。他不要。。。
Jordan：I don't want eat, children u finish it la...
他学他的teacher讲话。
我：我是mommy啦，什么children。
Jordan：mommy，你finish了它啊，不如我会骂你的啊！
wah lau。。

**************

Jordan came back from kindi and left with so much food, I asked him to finish it. He doesnt want.
Jordan: I dont want eat, children u finish it la...
He imitate his Teacher.
Me: I am Mommy la, not Children..
Jordan: Mommy, u finish it la, otherwise I will scold you ah!
wah...

大便

今天载Jordan去上学，差不多到kindi了，他和我说他要大便。
我：就要到school了Jordan，去school ng-ng 啦。
Jordan一脸忧愁，快要哭了：不要不要，我要去别的地方 ng-ng。
我：到school了，去那边 ng-ng 啦！
Jordan：不要，school的大便桶大大的，我不会 ng-ng。。。
哈哈。。。。在家我们给他用那种小孩的 wc，所以他不敢用普通的 wc，他怕会跌下来。好凄凉的小孩，要赶快训练他用，不然以后他要大便也要忍到放学回家，真惨。

执着的蜜蜂

瑜伽老师又来和我们的心灵补习。

把两个玻璃瓶打横放，瓶口打开，瓶底开灯照住玻璃瓶。一个瓶里放了一堆蜜蜂，另一个瓶里放了一堆苍蝇。蜜蜂们朝着灯光的方向飞去，碰到了瓶底，还是不断得飞过去，直到撞死为止。放了苍蝇的玻璃瓶，苍蝇也是朝着灯光的方向飞，但苍蝇碰到了瓶底，就往别的方向飞，撞到瓶身再往别的方向飞，一直飞到开了的瓶口，然后飞出去。

我们做人就好像蜜蜂，有时很执着，明明知道是不对的，也不反醒，执着的往前冲。应该像苍蝇那样，用不同的方法，总会飞得出去，而不用停在原地不能前进。

************

Lay down 2 bottles, leave the cap opened, and light up the bottom of the bottle. Put some bees in one bottle, and put some flies into the other one.

All the bees fly to the light direction until they hit the bottom of the bottle, they will keep hitting until they die. The flies will fly to the light direction too, when they hit the bottom, they will try another direction, until they fly out from the bottle.

We are the bees, stubborn most of the time, we wont change even though we knew it’s wrong. We should act like the fly, try different approach, and manage to fly out from the bottle one day.

生气的事

一班学生问教授怎样可以放下他们生气的事。教授要他们拿个带子去河边拾石头，一粒石头代表一件生气的事，学生们照着做。一天又一天的过去，一位学生跟教授说他的带子很重，于是教授要他放下自己的带子，他轻松多了。
每一件你生气的事就像一粒石头，每一天你都把它们放在心上，就像沉重的石头压住自己一样，为什么不把它们放下呢？
瑜伽老师，你真的是我的良师益友！

********

A group of students asked their lecturer how to let go of their anger. The lecturer asked them to take a big bag and pick some stones at the river side. Each stone will represent something you despise... After a few days, a student came to the lecturer and claimed that his bag was very heavy, and the lecturer asked him to put down the bag, and he feels released instantly.

Anything that irk you is like a stone to you, if you kept them in your heart is like putting all the stones onto your body. Let go all your anger and things that annoying you, you will be released and happier.

Kangaroo

婆婆帮弟弟冲凉，然后Jordan在看。婆婆指着弟弟的bird bird讲：Jordan，你看，弟弟也有bird bird的。
Jordan指着自己的衣服说：婆婆，我有Kangaroo！！！
哈哈哈！！！

************

Poh-poh took bath for di-di, Jordan was watching, then poh-poh pointed at di-di's bird bird and said: Jordan, u see, di-di also got bird bird wan..
Jordan pointed at his own tee and said: poh-poh, I got Kangaroo!!!
hahahaha....

没时停

Jordan放学回来，我问他：Jordan, teacher say u good boy or not?
Jordan: No....teacher say NO TALKING.
.....hahahaha......
我：为什么Teacher叫你 No Talking.
Jordan:因为我没时停嘛。。
哈哈哈。。。。

Sorry

Jordan善于运用我教他的东西在我身上。
我那天不小心打到他的脸，他问我：Mommy，你做什么打我？
我：不是啦，我不小心而已啦。
Jordan：哦，你不小心啊？。。。。Mommy，你讲sorry to Jordan 啦！
。。。。。。。。我平时是这样教他的。。。。。。。。。。。
我：sorry 啦Jordan，mommy不小心的。
Jordan: mm....That's ok!

wah lau!!!

************

Jordan like to use what I teach him back on me...
I hit on his face accidentally the other day, he said: Mommy, y u beat me?
Me: no la, mommy not purposely wan la..
Jordan: oh... not purposely wan ah?... Mommy, you say Sorry to Jordan la!
Me: sorry la Jordan, mommy not purposely wan..
Jordan:mm... that's ok !!
wahahaha....

猎狗和兔子的故事

今天瑜伽老师说了个猎狗和兔子的故事。
一个猎人他养了一只跑得很快的猎狗，他很骄傲，每次都带它去打猎。有一天，他看见一只兔子，然后他叫猎狗赶快去抓它。半小时后，猎狗回来却没抓到兔子，于是猎人责怪它跑得不够快，它的腿比兔子长那么多，为什么会比兔子慢。猎狗说：主人你不能这样说，我跑那么快只是为了要寻找我的午餐，但兔子是为了它的生命而逃跑，它一定会跑得很快。
这故事要传达的意义是，我们不能用自己的标准来衡量其他人，每个人都有他自己的生活模式，想法，及不同的人生观。当我们把自己放在别人的立场去着想时，那我们将会更体谅他人，而自己也会变得更开心。

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A hunter brought his dog for hunting one day, he saw a rabbit and ask his dog to chase for it. After quite awhile, the dog came back with nothing. The hunter was angry and commented that the dog has longer legs but failed to hunt the rabbit. However the dog answered: Yes, my legs are longer, but the rabbit would run faster than I could, as he needs to save his life…

The moral of this story is to remind us not to evaluate others by our own judgement, as everyone is brought up differently with different value and principle. Put yourself in others’ shoe, and you will understand others and be more considerate.

Color

今天给Jordan学color。用家里的东西来教他color。他的水壶是蓝色，我教他Blue Color。。
过了一个午觉醒来，我再问他：Jordan，你的水壶是什么color？
Jordan：啊。。。是水壶color！

考试

Jordan小小的4岁kindi就要考试了。5月中将是他的大日子。。他连 A 到 Z 都还认不完，还说要考华语及数学，真的是太激进了吧。。
我很担心他会拿个零分回来，我知道他的程度到那里。于是每天要他背ABC，学写字，那么小的年纪，他真的很懒惰学写字，有时写到趴在桌子上，我有时生气到把他恶骂一顿，还会打他的手。。其实我的心里很难过，那么小的孩子就要有那么沉重的压力，但如果现在不开始监督他，以后他的功课将会愈来愈重，他不是更难追上吗？但另一边厢，我又担心他这么小就有那么大的压力，以后会不会对读书有恐惧感呢？
做母亲很难，时时刻刻要担心孩子，担心他的健康，他的安全，现在那么小，就要担心他的学业，真的是养儿一百岁，长忧九十九。。。反过来想，做小孩不是更难吗？小小年纪就要上kindi，还要学写字考试，不如就追不上别人，赶不上社会的节奏，看来是幸福的表面，但比起我们过去那一代，还在吃喝玩乐，通山跑，无忧无虑，我们才是最幸福啊！